Saturday, October 29, 2011

my love is toooooooooo....

my love is too delicate to have thrown back on my face
my love is too beautiful to have thrown back on my face
my love is too sanctified to have thrown back on my face
my love is too magic to have thrown back on my face
my love is too saturday nite to have thrown back on my face
my love is too complicated to have thrown back on my face
my love is too music to have thrown back on my face

for colored girls who have considered suicide/ when the rainbow is enuf, ntozake shange

Monday, October 24, 2011

Guess what!

Guess what I had for dinner.
Half an eggplant.

Guess what's my new favorite game.
Disco King.

Guess what I lost.
All of my hair ties.

Guess what I'm doing all night?
Reading a ghost story.  It's called The Famished Road.

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

True blue, through and through

I'd like to take a moment to share with you a phenomenon that occurs every Monday and Wednesday at 12:02 pm.
My Pearl of Great Price class has about 50 students. We start with a hymn. Every single time, without fail, we start singing with an average level of quality. But on the second line the whole class somehow converges with beautiful harmony into a class choir comparable to the MoTab, and that's how we finish the verse.
I do not care that so many people complain so much about how cheesy BYU is. I feel joy in attending this university every single day. :)

Tuesday, October 18, 2011


Having something important to say and knowing how to say it well are two completely different things.  It is not easy to achieve both at the same time.  At this current moment, I am not doing either with any particular amount of skill.  But that is what makes a written work truly great and appealing to the widest population possible.

Twilight series.  A good story, but not written with very much attention to literary devices that attract readers.
Poetry.  It may be absolutely beautiful language, but if no one understands what is being written about, it will not be successful.

Therefore, when I write the book that will change the world, I need to make sure that it is a compelling story, but written well, with so much attention to detail and so many subtle literary devices that all non-English majors will be tricked into thinking that it's plain language.  Then, I will have struck the perfect formula for winning over the masses.

But if I can't learn how to do it in a simple essay for a literature class, I have a long way to go before I can do it for the world.

Monday, October 17, 2011


I definitely can't waste any time this week.  I need to prioritize.
1. School.  3 tests, 2 papers, but hours behind on my internship.
1. Joey Brown coming home from his mission.
1. Beautiful fall weather.

It's going to be a little complicated.

Saturday, October 15, 2011

Why I am now happy

I have had two excellent days in a row! Wanna know why?

1. The Mt. Timpanogos temple.
2. A Raisin in the Sun.
3. Footloose.

Let's go for three tomorrow with
4. A nine-mile canyon run and
5. Park City shopping.


P.S. the people I've been spending time with ain't half bad either.

Friday, October 14, 2011

Those who are the hardest to love need it the most.

"There is always something left to love. And if you ain't learned that, you ain't learned nothing... Child, when do you think is the time to love somebody the most? When they done good and made things easy for everybody? Well then, you ain't through learning-- because that ain't the time at all. It's when he's at his lowest and can't believe in hisself 'cause the world done whipped him so! When you starts measuring somebody, measure him right, child, measure him right. Make sure you done taken into account what hills and valleys he come through before he got to wherever he is."
A Raisin in the Sun, Lorraine Hansberry

Monday, October 10, 2011

A stony heart.

but some sorrows are like stones, and they never melt,
though our tears rain and groove them.

Omeros, Derek Walcott.


An evening in the canyon.  Listening to Soft Sunday Sounds.  This week it's autumn, not winter.  Thank goodness.

Thursday, October 6, 2011


As part of my commitment to better myself (I have made it so many times I can't even count, but last night specifically I had an epiphany) I decided that I am not going to use any social media except checking my e-mail and publishing blogs until I have accomplished one major goal, which is applying for Teach For America.  I even put my apps (Facebook, Pinterest, and Twitter) into a folder on my phone so gracefully called "TFA done?"  Aka, I can't enter until my application is done.  That might be a few more weeks, but hopefully if I use all my spare time to do that instead of worthless social media, it will get done faster.

So far it's going well.

Today as I walked into the HRCB (home of the Kennedy Center) for the second time, I noticed a big, important phrase above the door.  "Expand Your World."  Ironic, I thought, because that little office in 273C is becoming my world.  If I branch out (Monday, Wednesday and Friday afternoons), it's to 109 of the same building.  But my mind is certainly expanding from this wonderful internship opportunity.

Example: remember when I was reading Midnight's Children, that awesome Rushdie book about India?  Today I was editing a Culture Guide about India and found out there are gods named Shiva and Parvati who have a son together.  !!!!  If you've read Midnight's Children you'll understand just how significant that is.  Rushdie was even more in-tune than I thought.

One more thought, before I go back to fact-checking in books about Gandhi.  In my Modern American Lit class today we started talking about the symbol of the desert.  Throughout literature (I'm going to need to read up on this a bit more) the desert is a place to seclude oneself and have a huge spiritual breakthrough.  Antofagasta mission, Chile.  Been there, done that.  The question posed was, "Why would they ever want to leave?"  With all this rainy weather, I am asking myself the same thing.

Sunday, October 2, 2011

It is better to look up.

I have figured out the source of my unhappiness.

Two years ago, on October 3, 2009, I was in St. George, Utah.  I had just finished running a marathon: 26.2 miles on a warm fall day.  I was DEAD tired.  But I was happy.  I had trained for five months to be able to do exactly that.  As I was training, I told myself I would NEVER do it again.  It was too hard and too much time.  Sweat, side aches, blisters, toenails falling off, shin splints, nights that I only slept five hours.  It wasn't the race that I didn't want to do again, but the training.  As I started out the fastest five miles of my life that morning, though, I said out loud (to myself and to my faithful running partner, Tim) "Who are we kidding?  Of course we're going to do this again."  It was wonderful.  I never knew how great I could feel while physically punishing my body.  Yes, it took me forever to finish, and yes, I ached like HECK going up or down stairs, sitting or standing or lying down.  But I had made the choice to train and to do it, and I did.  I loved that experience.

One year ago, on October 2, 2010, I was in Caldera, Chile.  I had been in Chile since April, and I was sitting in the chapel with a brand new sister, Hermana Vilche.  We were streaming General Conference from a laptop in our chapel, since it was too far to get to the stake center in Copiapo (a bus ride of about 1 hour, 15 minutes) with the people we were teaching.  Not that any of the people we were teaching came, but we thought they would.  I was serving a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  That particular Saturday, we watched the Relief Society broadcast, we watched the morning session of General Conference, then we had a branch lunch and a baptism.  Luis, an absolutely wonderful man with an incredible moustach, had made a choice to follow our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ and get baptized into his church.  He was extremely happy and so were we.  I felt about the same as I had felt one year before: wonderfully tired and so satisfied.  I had to make large sacrifices to be in Chile.  I spent many sleepless nights worrying about the people I loved so much.  We worked all day, every single day, and I loved it.

This weekend, I did nothing that compares to either of those experiences.  Yesterday, I got up and ran a measly six miles.  I watched Conference, I baked, I spent time idly chatting with some friends and studying here or there.  Today I'm in Salt Lake with my brother.  We watched Conference, went on a drive in Emigration Canyon, and I'm making dinner now.  Where are all my life-changing experiences?  I need some goals.  But I don't have any good ideas.  I don't have any specific goals that really inspire me, that really motivate me to change my life, to be better, to serve others.  I want to do those things, but I have no idea where to start.

Well, it's time.  Time to do something that I can be proud of.  So that I never again have to look back and realize that I have fallen from where I used to be.  Life is a progression, or should be.  Feel free to suggest life-altering goals that you feel I can accomplish.  I definitely need some help.