Sunday, December 16, 2012

Solidarity Pants

I wore a green dress to church today. And I regretted it.

There were compelling reasons I was considering wearing pants. I discussed it thoroughly with my roommate Kara and my best friend Ashley, who are two women I greatly respect and admire. We read articles and talked it over and agreed and disagreed and changed our minds more than once. There were compelling reasons not to do it as well. I had a desire to support the cause, but in the end I decided that I didn't feel like church was the place to make a statement.

Last night before bed, Kara said she wasn't going to wear pants. I agreed. Shortly after we arrived at church in our typical Sunday Best, Ashley arrived in hers, which consisted of trousers and a blouse. She told me as she sat down next to me in Relief Society that one reason she almost didn't participate was fear, and she didn't want to let that define her choices. She is strong and wise and I generally strive to be more like her. In that moment, out of a desire for solidarity with her, I wished I had worn pants. And that made me realize that if I had done it, solidarity would have been the reason, not a political statement. And that would have felt good and pure.

I recognize that there is a large spectrum of emotions toward this topic, but what I feel most strongly about it is that this actually does matter. I simply cannot agree with the people who dismissively say "Who cares?" It's not about whether or not women are allowed to wear pants to church [they are, by the way. As Ashley said, "Women should wear pants because they do what they want to, not because someone tells them they can or they can't"]. This is about respecting and supporting and healing our sisters and our brothers. There are people who care, and since I believe everyone's feelings are valid, this is important to me.

I hope I have more opportunities to show support and solidarity with my sisters and brothers. And I hope I don't let fear define my choices anymore.

Sunday, December 2, 2012


"I was raised up believing I was somehow unique, like a snowflake distinct among snowflakes, unique in each way you can see. And now after some thinking I'd say I'd rather be a functioning cog in some great machinery, serving something beyond me. But I don't know what that will be. I'll get back to you someday soon, you will see."

Thursday, November 29, 2012

A List of Do Nots to Stay Warm with PJ

1. Do not get into my car unless you are already warm. Stand by a fire, lean against a radiator, rub your hands together to create some friction—do whatever you have to do, but make sure your body heat is raging before you leave the house to get into my car.

2. Do not allow your body to lose its heat. Fleece and wool are particularly helpful in this aspect.
2a. There is one fleece blanket already in the car that will cover the driver (me) and the front-seat passenger. If you will be riding in the back, bring your own. The m&m costume in the trunk is available, but I can't vouch for its warmth.
2b. I'm serious about the wool. Wool socks (make sure your feet are already warm before putting them on) and wool mittens (same). I also recommend a wool sweater and a coat. And boots. The boots don't have to be wool.

3. Do not stop singing and preferably dancing. Songs you love and know the words to will distract you from the fact that you will be able to see your breath. Dancing creates more body heat, of course, and is also fun.

4. Do not roll down the window or leave the door open for more time than necessary. If you are a passenger, do not get impatient waiting outside because I really do have to unlock my door, get in and shut the door, and then lean over to open yours. Jump or skip or run during this time to not lose the body heat you must preserve.
4a. Once we have arrived at our destination, do not feel like you have to wait for me to lock and unlock my door from the inside several times in order to get out before you do. If you want to wait inside the car you may, but you can also get out and start running toward shelter and warmth and I won't care.

5. Do not complain. I know that it's freezing and that my car jerks every time I stop and then have to go again and I know it's loud and I know it's hard to get into and out of the back. But chances are I'm doing you a favor by driving you somewhere, so let's just have fun.

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

One Thing

My team at work just started a One Thing competition. Daily, we email our managers to state what the One most important Thing we will do that day is, who we need help from, and which key performance indicator it applies to. We have to determine and declare it by 10 am, and we have to report back before midnight whether or not we completed it. We get points for sending the emails and we get (fewer) points for being needed by someone else. After one month, the first, second, and third place employees get CA$H PRIZE$. I was doing pretty well until I forgot to report yesterday, and I'm afraid I've fallen behind. We still have two weeks, so I might be able to make it up.

This system has started to make its way into my out-of-office life. Although I don't have much time after work, and a big chunk of the time I do have is spent thinking about what I'm going to eat/preparing something to eat/actually eating, once in a while I have one goal that I want to accomplish and I focus my attention on that. I have no manager to report to (speaking of, I guess I can get a free life coach through my work. I'm thinking about it), so sometimes my One Thing isn't very life-altering.

Today, for example, the One Thing I chose to accomplish was determine the identity* of the 801 number who texted me "Hey what's up?" at 8:11 am EST. There are no key performance indicators for that.

Maybe I'll get that life coach after all.

*I did it, by the way. It was this person (see Friday's thorn).

Monday, September 24, 2012

Some of us call it Autumn, and others call it God.

Whenever I check my blog stats (which is not very often, and also, they're never very good), the phrase "some call it autumn and others call it god" is consistently on the list of search terms that lead people here. It was the title of a post I wrote three years ago in November, and when I googled the phrase today to find out where it came from, my blog was the third result. Unfortunately for the people looking for that line, that blog post offers no further explanation. Fortunately for them, and me, the first result is the poem in its entirety. I was in a poetry class three years ago and I'm sure I read the poem then, but I didn't make a note of it anywhere that would allow me to find it again, and when I read it again today, it was like it was the first time. It's so beautiful and I have to share it here in hopes that the people searching for this poem will now be able to find it.

"Each in his own Tongue," by William Herbert Carruth

A fire-mist and a planet,
A crystal and a cell,
A jelly-fish and a saurian,
And caves where the cave-men dwell;
Then a sense of law and beauty
And a face turned from the clod, --
Some call it Evolution,
And others call it God.

A haze on the far horizon,
The infinite, tender sky,
The ripe, rich tint of the cornfields,
And the wild geese sailing high;
And all over upland and lowland
The charm of the golden-rod, --
Some of us call it Autumn,
And others call it God.

Like tides on a crescent sea-beach,
When the moon is new and thin,
Into our hearts high yearnings
Come welling and surging in:
Come from the mystic ocean,
Whose rim no foot has trod, --
Some of us calling it Longing,
And others call it God.

A picket frozen on duty,
A mother starved for her brood,
Socrates drinking the hemlock,
And Jesus on the rood;
And millions who, humble and nameless,
The straight, hard pathway plod, --
Some call it Consecration,
And others call it God.

How thoughtful! How true! How deliberate! This poem is a masterpiece. And this fall is a masterpiece. The weather changed in a hurry and I was left longing for summer but I cannot begrudge this beautiful fall. The weather has been so lovely and I got to go camping on Friday night. The drive back from New Hampshire on Saturday morning was already so full of bursting foliage that I gasped out loud several times. 

The weekend brought other beautiful moments as well. My dear brother Chase got home from his mission in Argentina so all 8 of my family members were together again (that counts McAnnie's baby). We went kayaking on Saturday evening, we sang in church on Sunday, we ate together and talked and laughed and danced. It's easy to be happy in New England in the fall. Some call it a lucky season, and I call it [a manifestation of] God.

Thursday, August 30, 2012


1. I cannot keep secrets about myself. I blab about everything going on with me to anyone who will listen. I don't really understand what it's like to want privacy.

2. If I were asking for a gift from heaven, I would choose crystal-clear skin over a stick-thin body. Not because I love my curves or anything, just because having great skin is something you can't give yourself.

3. I love to sit and lay on the ground. I sit on the ground way more often than people are comfortable with. No, I don't need that chair or spot on the couch.

4. I am not motivated by weight-loss goals. I have lost significant amounts of weight before, but it is always prompted by fitness goals rather than the desire to lose weight. I've done three triathlons and a marathon and I'm working on training for a half marathon right now. It is the only thing that works.

5. I shamelessly suntan whenever possible. I get frustrated when I am stuck inside on a sunny summer day, and I feel a twinge of guilt when I could be outside working on my tan but I'm not. I know it's not healthy, but I just love a good glow.

6. Post offices thrill me. All those packages and letters will eventually arrive somewhere and getting mail is just so thrilling. Maybe it would turn out to be mega boring to work in a post office, but sorting mail and speculating about what's inside sounds wonderful to me.

7. I have this vague but sharpening desire to avoid all cliches. I'm thinking about how to enforce it.

8. I studied English in college and I tell everyone that I love to read and I do. Sometimes I swallow books whole and I can't sleep because I just want to read read read. But sometimes there are too many books I'm interested in that I can't read any of them and I just spend days or weeks thinking about what I'll read next but not making any progress.

9. I hate multitasking! Except at work, because then I don't care about what I'm doing and anyway you can't get a job these days without multitasking. But I don't even like to talk on the phone and do other things, like walk around or eat or drive. I just like to unitask.

10. I finally understand those people that don't repeat outfits. It never looks as good the second time.

11. There are some words that I know other people think are weird but I can't give them up. Like bathing suit. I'm never bathing when I wear that, you know? But I can't get swimsuit to come out of my mouth. Same with "swear" vs. "swear word." Someone actually laughed out loud once when I said "It was a swear."  I have no explanation.

12. When my mind is empty, I separate the letters of words into letter-groups. I hate when a word has an odd number of letters, unless it is 9, because the three-three-three groups are pretty good. Other than that, I love to divide words in the middle. I like even things and that's why this list ends with number 12.

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

I love you but

I want to thank you darling for all that you've given
I want to thank you for being my friend
And I love you but goodbye

—Langhorne Slim, "I Love You, But Goodbye"

Sunday, June 17, 2012

Sabbath Day Thoughts

I've been thinking a lot about what am I supposed to be doing in my life right now. I have come to a crossroads and it seems really important that I figure out as soon as I possibly can what will make me happy so I don't end up wasting any time. I know everyone says I don't need to figure it out right now, but trust me—I really, really do.

I remember reading a very powerful quote from Elder Holland that I found in my mission binder, and recently I was searching for it but coming up with nothing. Luckily, today I was reading through my study journal and found part of the quote that made it pretty easy to find the rest. Though it's always hard to hear, this is a powerful message for me.

Christ says, “Give me all. I don’t want so much of your time, or so much of your money, or so much of your work, I want YOU. I have not come to torment your natural self, but to kill it. No half measures are any good. I don’t want to cut off a branch here or a branch there, I want the tree down! I don’t want to drill the tooth or crown it or stop it. I want it out! Hand over the whole natural self, all the desires; the ones you think are innocent, as well as the ones you think are wicked. You give me the whole outfit, and I will give you a new self; in fact, I will give you myself, and my will shall become your will.”
The terrible thing, of course, the almost impossible thing is to hand over your whole natural self, all your wishes and all your precautions to Christ. But that is far easier than what we are all trying to do instead. For what we are trying to do  instead is to remain what we call “ourselves,” to keep personal happiness as our great aim in life and yet at the same time to be reasonably good. We’re all trying to let our mind and our heart go their own way, centered on money, or sex, or pleasure, or ambition, and hoping in spite of this to behave honestly and humbly, and that is exactly what Christ warned us we could not do. He said a thistle could not produce figs. If I’m a field that contains nothing but grass seed, I cannot produce wheat. Cutting the grass may keep it short, but I shall still produce grass and never wheat. If I want to produce wheat, the change must go deeper than the surface. I must be plowed up and re-sown. It is the difference between a paint, which is simply on the surface, and a dye or stain that soaks right through. He never talked vaguely. He said, “Be perfect,” and He meant it. He meant that we must go in for the whole treatment. “See, I have chosen you, you haven’t chosen me. You come to this on my terms, and I want you for the full treatment.” Now, that’s hard. But the sort of compromise we’re hankering after is harder still; in fact, it’s impossible. It may be hard for an egg to turn into a bird, but it’s a jolly sight harder for an egg to learn to fly. We are like eggs at present, and we cannot go on indefinitely being just an ordinary, decent egg. Someday, you will have to be hatched or go bad. It is hard for an egg to become a bird, but it IS impossible for an egg to learn to fly.

It is certainly not easy to align my will with my Heavenly Father's, but He has an even bigger vision for me than I have for myself.

Thursday, June 14, 2012

Every spark of friendship and love will die without a home

Before leaving Provo, I had some of my dear friends make me CDs that would capture the essence of them. One of the CDs (the one that I ended up listening to the most on my long roadtrip home) had the song "Intervention" by Arcade Fire on it. I heard the song once before, but I clearly misunderstood the important lyrics that can be found in the title of this post.

I could write an epic poem about my friends, but instead, I will simply write an ode to all the people who gave a home to the spark of friendship between us. About ten months ago, I was recently home from my mission and preparing to go back to BYU to finish my last year. I was scared out of my mind, because although before I left I had ample friends, I had barely reconnected with any of them and was so worried that I would spend my last eight months in Provo weird and lonely. It took a bit of an adjustment, but I came out on top.

A lot of the people that formed a part of my life this past year were old friends from all walks of my life, including EFY, freshman year, study abroad, old wards, etc. But a lot of my friends were new, and new friendships always require nourishment. It took work to turn that spark into a real friendship, just like it took work to reignite my old friendships. It was definitely something I was invested in, since friends are outrageously important to me, but it takes [at least] two, and I am so grateful to all the people that were willing to put time into it as well.

At the risk of being way too sentimental (when I am ever not that way?), I would like to thank my friends for being who you are, because I truly love you and appreciate you being in my life. Having people to spend time with and laugh with and share things with is so valuable to me. I know that things change as time passes, and even the best friendships fade, but at the very least, I have been happy in large part due to the intelligent, hilarious, and considerate people around me.

Thank you. Thank you for not letting these sparks of friendship die. May they always grow stronger.

Tuesday, June 12, 2012


Once upon a time, in my sophomore year of college, I was lamenting my sad life to a friend who suggested I do one thing to make me happy every day for a week. In the beginning of May, I mentioned that week to my roommates and we decided to make our own version of it, but together, and for the entire month of May. We each came up with ten things we wanted to do and we planned our month accordingly. Even though we didn't quite accomplish every day's task, we had a lot of fun and we encountered happiness.  Too bad I left it in Provo shortly thereafter.

Here is a rundown of each day's task. Feel free to skip this part if you do not care at all, or study it carefully if you need ideas on how to find happiness. Pictures included.
May 4: pick a flower [success]
May 5: meet someone new [success]
May 6: reference as many song lyrics as possible in conversation [failure for me]
May 7: cartwheel in public [success]
May 8: paint our nails the same color [failure]
May 9: prank someone [mostly a failure, though we made a valiant effort to thicken Mark's drink]
May 10: wear something gold [success]
May 11: sort people into Harry Potter houses [success for my roommates, failure for me]
May 12: watch the sunset [success]
May 13: wear seven pieces of jewelry [success!]

May 14: eat a kid's meal at the Creamery [success]
May 15: eat only fruits and veggies [failure—we went to Sonic Happy Hour instead, haha]
May 16: roommate dinner with my favorite food [success]
May 17: sleepover in the living room [success, plus Jessie and Walter joined us]

May 18: go dancing [semi-success—we danced to at least one song each]
May 19: tandem biking [success! one of the best days]

May 20: Temple Square [failure—we sat outside the Provo temple and watched missionaries instead]
May 21: play tennis [success]
May 22: doorbell ditch [success]
May 23: roommate dinner with Katie's favorite food [semi-success—Cambrie didn't eat with us]
May 24: bodyrock to "Call Your Girlfriend" [failure]
May 25: buy matching clothes [failure—we looked but didn't find anything we all agreed on]
May 26: go rollerblading [semi-success—we all went Classic Skating instead]
May 27: wear matching outfit to church [success!]

May 28: music video to "Call Me Maybe" [success]
May 29: jump into a swimming pool with all our clothes on [success]
May 30: roommate dinner with Cambrie's favorite food [failure]
May 31: shaved ice [success]

Looking back, we failed at more tasks than I thought. But the important thing is that we got to spend time together and we got to have a lot of experiences that we would not have had otherwise. And we found happiness. Look at those smiles.

I am probably going to start another [lifelong] one pretty soon, so feel free to leave a comment with suggestions for daily tasks. Parameters: can be done alone, can involve the beach.

Stay tuned!

Wednesday, May 30, 2012


I currently have six visible wounds on my body. Accompanying them are six stories. Today I told them all to Barret.

I'll just give a quick breakdown now:

1. somersault down a gravel mountainside.
2. slip in the shower/soapdish collision.
3. ankle roll/rugburn.
4. poolside slip/saved by the thumb.
5. whacked by a porta-potty.
6. banging in the kitchen.

I am losing control of my motor skills. I'm 23. The future is looking bad.

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

A Day to Memorialize.

So I finished school and I don't have a job. That means that for me, every day is a play day. Very unfortunately, that's not true for everyone. Because today was a holiday, I took full advantage with my friends and had probably the best Memorial Day of my life.

It started out super early (seriously, 6 am?) with the Run of Remembrance in American Fork. One of us ran a 5K and one of us ran a 10K. I'll let you decide who did what. It went a lot better for me than I was expecting, since I've been the worst at running lately.

In the afternoon, the gang went up to Joey's house in Alpine (which was known to the combined Brown-Coppins-Finley family as the "summer home") and we had a barbecue! But we didn't just barbecue hamburgers and hot dogs. We grilled gourmet pizzas. We also played croquet, went swimming, and had a talent show.
 Since I have extremely talented friends, I would like to share the awards that were presented this afternoon. On the left, to Alyssa and Emily: Most Agile. On the top, to Joel, Andy, and Caleb: Most Musical Talent. And on the bottom, to Mare and Bear: Best Dance Moves, with an additional sub-award of best group name, since, come on, you can't beat rhymes.

Later this evening, I attended a banana boat/storytelling bonfire, and then made a very special music video. The music video will be explained further in my next post, which will also illuminate the mysterious #questforhappiness that has been haunting Twitter and Instagram in the past month.

I'm grateful for a fun day with my friends, and I'm grateful that there are always people and events to memorialize in my life.

Saturday, April 21, 2012

Pomp and Circumstance

Today, I am waking up not as a BYU student. It's the first time since January 18, 2006, which was the day I got my acceptance letter.

BYU has been so great to me. I will miss it terribly. It's sad to imagine that if I go into the HBLL or the gym, I can no longer sign onto a computer or get a wristband to use these facilities. I'm not looking for housing, signing up for classes, or making a graduation plan. I'm done with all of that. A few of my friends tell me they're jealous, that they're looking forward to the day they will graduate, but to be honest, I doubt it. Being in college is great and it's easy, because you almost always know what the next step is: keep moving toward graduation.

Confession time: if you are wondering what I'm going to do now, you're not the only one. I have received no job offers so far, but not for lack of searching, applying, and interviewing. My ultimate career goal is to be a middle school English teacher, but since I didn't get a degree in English Teaching (curse that younger, less mature version of myself who started studying English at BYU because she liked reading books! Why didn't she consider the future at all?!), I need to take an alternate route to get there. I am waiting to hear back from a few places, and while I wait, I'm going to be staying in Provo for the month of May. If I am still jobless at that point, I will admit defeat and move into the ultimate summer home: my parents' beach house in Hull, MA.

It's hard to be proud of myself for graduating from college when I still haven't completed the very last assignment: find a job. But I still have hope!

Now, just for fun, here is the version of me that came to BYU almost six years ago:

And here is the version that graduated yesterday:

I've grown up a bit.

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Diary of a College Senior Trying To Scrape By Without Embarrassing Herself During Her Last Semester

January 6: Notices that the syllabi for two of her classes show papers due on April 10.

January 6-April 2: Spends a lot of time hanging out with her friends, exercising, and trying to plan for the future.

April 2: Starts thinking about papers due at the end of the semester.

April 3: Hears a speech from one of the professors expecting a paper on April 10 about the little man inside of us that tells us when we need to get started on our papers to make sure we have enough time to do a good job.

April 7, 11 am: Starts hearing the little man.
April 7, 11:15 am: Goes hiking; eats lunch; plays Just Dance; showers; goes toCostco; goes to birthday party.
April 7, 10 pm: Leaves birthday party to finally satisfy the pleadings of that little man to start on the paper.
April 7, 10:45 pm: Falls asleep, book [indicating the topic of one of the papers] in hand.

April 9, 1 pm: Hears little man screaming; finishes book.
April 9, 5 pm: Starts researching, occasionally distracted by hunger and cold.
April 9, 8:30 pm: Leaves campus; changes clothes; acquires sugar, Diet Dr. Pepper, and healthy snacks; returns to campus.
April 9, 9:40 pm: Starts draft; inspiration strikes.
April 10, 12 am: Starts hearing very strange noises in the building where she believes.she is the only one present; tentatively leaves office only to sprint to the bathroom to relieve Diet Dr. Pepper-laden bladder.
April 10, 1:36 am: Finishes draft of one paper.
April 10, 1:54 am: Finishes caffeine supply.
April 10, 2:02 am: Starts second paper.
April 10, 4:21 am: Surfaces for air; end is in sight; desperately wants to be out of the building by 5 am in case that’s when the custodial crew shows up.
April 10, 4:37 am: Finishes draft of second paper.
April 10, 4:40 am: Posts blog; leaves campus.

Monday, April 9, 2012

My life is an open book and I like to read it out loud to everyone.

I have a lot to say. And everything is better with photos, so I have a lot of those too. They are all Instagrammed picframes, so if you follow me on Instagram, you probably don't even need to read this post. Unless you have been dying for more info.

Four weeks ago, I started the BYU Lazyman Ironman. The idea is to do the distances of an Ironman but over the course of 4 weeks. That means 2.4 miles swimming (79 laps in the BYU pool), 112 miles biking, and 26.2 miles running. I finished Friday night around 8:45 pm, and luckily Courtney found me in the women's gym so she could take this triumphant picture when I got off the treadmill. (Only about 3 of the miles were run on the treadmill, BTW, because I hate that thing. It makes one mile feel like an eternity. Nothing like some fresh air and a good audiobook to keep me going). It was a challenge, but I'm so glad I did it. I'm not sure if I could have gotten through it if I hadn't started listening to the Hunger Games, because that motivated so many more miles on the bike and on my runs than I would have had the energy to do without something so captivating. So, props to Suzanne Collins, and to whoever had the idea of motivating BYU students to do an Ironman.

Friday night Jessie and I threw a surprise party for Mark, whose birthday was on Saturday. He was completely surprised and really happy (can't you tell from that giant smile on his face in every picture?), so it was definitely a success. On the bottom right, you can see the piƱata that Jessie and I made out of papier-mache with Mark's face on it. There were a lot of people there and it was a blast.

Saturday was Mark's real birthday and he wanted to go hiking, so we went to Orem and started up the mountain. It was a nice trail and a beautiful day, and these pictures represent the great time we had. Mark had never been over to the other side of the peak, so we started exploring. The bottom right shows the scooting that took place when it got a little steep, and the bottom middle is the pure bliss of running down the meadowy mountainside. Unfortunately, after that it got a little more complicated. Mark assured us there was a path down the other side of the mountain, and there actually was, but we didn't find it. Instead, we forged our own path.

On the left is what the mountainside looked like—a steep, gravely, avalanche-inducing slope. On the right is what my arm looked like after I took the shortcut and tumbled down head over heels almost all the way down to the path. There are more scrapes not pictured, but the blessing of all this is that I survived.

The rest of the weekend was more low-key. We celebrated the end of Mark's birthday with empanadas and Just Dance (our all-time favorite) last night. Today I had one Easter feast with Jessie (salmon tacos) and one Easter feast at my aunt Kriste's house (everything delicious and Easter-y that you can imagine, plus a ton of candy). It was a great weekend! And guys—I graduate in less than two weeks! Let the last round of finals begin!

Friday, April 6, 2012

Picture of the day.

I think I enjoy matching clothes with my friends more than the average person.

Monday, April 2, 2012

scenes from the weekend

Friday: completos at my mission reunion.
Saturday: the Chocolate with Craig and Kelsey.
Sunday: burning Y mountain on a frigid walk.

And just because, here is what I encountered when Jess, my cousin Kelsey's roommate, suggested we go on a walk to "District 12" (from the Hunger Games) this afternoon. It was kind of appropriate.

Unfortunately, I have no pictures of the GFUs (gospel fulfillment units) I received while listening to the prophet and the apostles speak to us during General Conference, but that happened too.

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

It has been a while since I rosebudded. Sorry, folks.

Thorn: I still have so many laps to swim in the Lazyman Ironman. I'm doing well on everything else, but swimming is going to kill me.

Bud: I'm listening to the audiobook version of the Hunger Games. Wow. I love it. I know I'm 100 years behind everyone else on this, but all I want to do is listen to it. That would be the main reason that I'm advancing so much on my biking and running and not on swimming.

Petal: I'm going to check out City Creek Center and I've heard it's the bomb. Also, General Conference.

And for my posterity (...assuming I have any), not because you haven't seen this before, a photo from the Festival of Colors.

Sunday, March 18, 2012

No green, sorry.

Thorn: an attempted (and denied) kiss.
Bud: We Bought a Zoo.
Petal: maybe someday I'll find true love.

Thorn: only biking 10 miles when I needed to do 16.
Bud: indoor sky diving, Just Dance, spending all day with Ashley.
Petal: at some point in the future, I will be reunited with her.

Thursday, March 15, 2012

Some days I'm full of life.
Some days I'm not.
Sorry folks.


Thorn: Woke up dead. By that I mean sore and tired. Got up too late to do my hair so I brought my curling iron in my backpack. After my first class I went into a bathroom in the JKB and started curling away, trying to make sure that no one I knew saw me. Don't worry, first girl that walks in is in my ward. Humiliating.

Bud: Pi(e) party. ALL the pies were yummy. And the company was great :)

Petal: Tennis! This is also kind of a bud because I played today. But it's a petal because I plan to play a lot more this spring.

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Sweaty lactic acid death.

Thorn: Didn't have time to change out of my spandex-y workout clothes before Latino Outreach. The missionaries were there.  This is literally one of my worst nightmares.
Bud: I matched with Jessie!
Petal: My dear friend Bryan is surprise getting married on Saturday instead of at the end of the semester. They're going to be so happy together!

* Note: the title comes from my private workout blog. That basically explains my workout today.

Tuesday, March 13, 2012


No, this post is not about the #1 movie of all time, Citizen Kane. It is about something I heard about from a friend affectionately known around these parts as "Van Boy." In an effort to start blogging more, I am setting a goal for myself to post daily with my rosebud.

Here's how it works. Thorn = something bad going on. Bud = something good going on. Petal = something exciting in the future.

So here goes today's.

Thorn: I ate a rancid avocado. It was absolutely disgusting and I had been looking forward to my dinner all day.

Bud: I started the Lazyman Ironman and ran 3 miles with Courtney. She's the greatest friend because even though she had already run six miles today, she went with me anyway. Also, clearly she's a workout beast. In the best, most feminine way possible.

Petal: Pi day is coming up on Wednesday and I found four delicious pies that I'm considering making. Mmm.

More to come tomorrow! I think this is a good way to appreciate life every day. Plus, since I can pretty easily blog from my phone, I have no excuses! And isn't that what life is all about? The no excuses part, of course.

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Little lamb, my child

Last night MarkJessie, and I recited this play. The entire thing. Oh, and it was in Spanish. And don't worry, Jessie's roommates were around, but they don't speak Spanish. I'm sure it was really entertaining and enlightening for them. At least Lydia learned something: "They're speaking Spanish, but it sounds like Arabic!" She probably thought we couldn't hear her. We could.

It's a great play. If you would like us to perform it at a special occasion, let us know. We've got our parts down pretty well. Mark is almost all of the daughters and the grandmother, I am the maid, and Jessie is the mom. Appropriate, right?

Tuesday, January 31, 2012

I know of nothing in the world that is either nobler or rarer than a devoted friendship.

So in December I said I would write a post about my New Year's resolutions, which is something I have not yet done. I didn't really make them formal, so I probably won't even share them right now, but there is one thing that has been on my mind since coming back from my mission that I will share.

Though sometimes it is hard for me to find friends, I have always felt that I am good at building relationships. I am very dependent; I always want to be with other people and I rely on them to know what to do. During my mission, the type of relationships I made were very, very different, but also very rewarding. Since I've been home the last six months, I have mostly rekindled old friendships and developed a few new ones. It has been hard to know how to act and how to make myself appealing as a person, not as a missionary. For 18 months, almost every conversation starter I used centered about a principle of the gospel of Jesus Christ. All of a sudden, I had no idea how to connect to anyone.

One of my goals for the new year was to focus on my relationships with other people, to figure out how to care about them in a way that would lead to a friendship. So far I have had no real breakthroughs, but I was reading for my Marriage and Family class today (my last chance in college to take this course and prepare for a perhaps-someday marriage) and came across a quote that helped me understand what I've been missing.

"We must understand that there is risk in moving beyond civil relationships. Some people will disappoint or even reject us. Yet we are protected when the motive of our affection was not to manipulate someone into liking us but rather to be their friend. As followers of Christ, we may brighten another’s life, which makes us less susceptible to wounds. And if perchance we are wounded, we heal rapidly."

I don't need to manipulate others into liking me. I don't need to try to be a person they will care about. I just need to be a friend. That way I won't question my motives and feel like a fool, because I'll know that I made the correct decision in trying to "brighten another's life."

Thursday, January 26, 2012

What is the perfect song to roller skate, dance, sing, and work out to?

It would definitely have to be this one.

Let's just say that last night after finishing two pretty tough Body Rock workouts, we (Cambrie, Katie, Jessie and I) forced ourselves to continue dance-jumping until the end of the song. It had just started. It was definitely worth it.

Watch this video. Then watch it again. The third time, try to mimic the moves (believe me, you'll want to). Then, after you've watched it a sufficient number of times, watch this video.

Then you'll understand what my life is like these days.

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Kami and Ashley in Wonderland

Today Ashley and I went to an alternate reality where there was a tornado in Salt Lake and there were no people in the bank and I was friends with someone who is not a real person (Ashley). Actually that last part was not part of the alternate reality because she really is not a real person and we really are friends.
Anyway, if you ever want to fall down the rabbit's hole and enter this reality (I don't know why you would), all you have to do is enter the glass building across from Red Lobster. I'll let you figure out what it is.